Don't Tell Peter
by Ailis Ceana
Summary: Susan and Edmund had always been each other's support. Glimpses into their relationship over the years. No slash.


_**A/N: As the summary implies, glimpses into Edmund and Susan's relationship. Why? Because I think there's not enough of these two on this site. Hope you enjoy. I added ages for reference. **_

**_Disclaimer: Don't own them. The brilliance belongs to C.S. Lewis_**

* * *

_(Susan-7 years old, Edmund-5 years old)_

Susan was bored. She had spent the last hour re-arranging her doll house, making sure Lucy was still asleep, and occasionally asking Mum if she needed help in the kitchen. Of course, her mother only replied by smiling, patting her head, and saying something about being older.

Susan pouted as she pulled out her coloring book. She wanted to be useful and grown up like Mum. Even Peter was allowed to do things she wasn't. He was in school, but she wasn't allowed until next year. It wasn't fair.

She nearly dropped her box of paints when she heard screaming coming from the play room. She set them down before rushing to the adjacent room. Edmund was sitting in the middle of the room, tears streaming down his face. He sobbed violently as he held his hand over his eye.

"Eddie, what did you do?" Susan gasped. She sat down beside her baby brother and tried pulling his hand away. He only whimpered and shook his head.

"Hurt!" he hiccupped. He used his other hand to point at a pair of keys sitting across the room. "I threw them. They were mean."

Susan put together what had happened in her head. "You poked your eye, didn't you?" she said, making her voice sound stern like Mum's. Edmund hung his head ashamedly. He let his other hand fall to his side. She quickly examined his eye and found it was fine except for a little redness.

Normally, Susan would think to scold Edmund. He should have known better than to steal Mum's house keys. But, when she looked at his puffy eyes and runny nose, she melted. She pulled her brother into a hug until he stopped sobbing. "It's okay, Eddie," she mumbled. "It's not going to be worse, just better. Okay?"

He nodded quietly, resting his head against her and wrapping his chubby arms as much as he could around her. She kissed his hair until he stopped sobbing.

"Don't tell Pete," Edmund said. "He yells."

"I won't," Susan promised.

* * *

_(Susan- 12 years old; Edmund- 10 years old)_

Susan heard shouting come from the boy's room across the hall. She let her head fall onto her desk until it stopped. Thank goodness Lucy was with Mum for the afternoon. Susan didn't think the younger girl could take anymore of Peter and Edmund's arguments.

Her door swung open with a creak. She looked up and saw a red-faced Edmund march into the room, slam the door shut, and flop face-first onto Susan's bed.

"Do you ever knock, Edmund?" Susan groaned.

He pushed himself upright before sitting cross-legged on the bed. "Peter's so—he just—sometimes I just want take a brick and—and—"

Susan rolled her eyes and threw the cushion from her chair to him. "Scream it out."

Edmund scowled. "I'm not seven, Susan!"

"Do it!"

Edmund hesitated a moment longer before covering his face with the pillow and letting out a long, aggravated shout.

He let the cushion fall to his lap. Susan stared at him expectedly. He sighed. "Yes, it's better. Sort of. " He paused. "Don't tell Peter, okay? He'd only scold me again."

"I promise," Susan replied.

He looked down at his hands and kept opening his mouth as if he wanted to say something. Susan joined him on the bed. She squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. "Peter cares about you. That's all, Ed."

"He's trying to take Dad's place," Edmund snapped. "He's not Dad!"

"He's not taking Dad's place," Susan protested. She pushed Edmund's dark hair out of his eyes. He really needed a haircut. "But, Dad's not going to be here for awhile," she began. She hesitated to say anything further. All the siblings except Lucy always had the doubt in their mind whether their father would make it back from the war alive. Susan shook the morbid thoughts from her head. "Peter's just coping in his own way. Honestly."

Edmund propped his chin on his hand and glared at the door as if this was all its fault. "Yeah, but I wish he wouldn't take it out on me."

Susan frowned. "You're not exactly innocent either, Edmund," she said quietly. "You don't have to fight him on everything."

Edmund shot off the bed as if he had just been electrocuted. "I knew you were on his side. All of you are on _Peter's_ side—Mum and Lucy too! This is why it was better when Dad was here!"

Before Susan could argue, Edmund had already left. She let out a shaky breath and glanced at the picture of her father on the nightstand. "I wish you were here, Dad," she said under her breath. "You'd know how to handle him."

* * *

_(Susan-17 years old, Edmund-15 years old)_

Susan was awakened from her sleep by sounds of clattering the hallway. She grabbed her robe and tip-toed her way to the commotion. The cold marble of the hallway was a shock compared to the carpeted floor in her chambers.

She opened her door and peered into the hallway. She saw a figure stumbling towards Edmund's room. It took her a moment to realize it _was_ Edmund. She left her door ajar before following after him.

When he slipped into his room, she followed him. "Edmund Pevensie, why are you awake at this time of n—" she stopped when she heard Edmund's ragged breaths and red eyes. "Edmund, what's wrong?"

She helped him to his bed and hurriedly lit a candle. It was difficult considering her hands were shaking. She mentally slapped herself. She needed to stay calm for his sake. She the candle on Edmund's nightstand and took his hands in her own. "Edmund, you're freezing!"

She looked up at him and saw he was crying. Quite violently. He looked at her with his brown eyes. She knew that look. "You had another nightmare, didn't you?"

"I—I couldn't sh—shake it," he said. He was visibly trembling. "Peter was—and it was my fault. I had to—to see if he—he was al—alive." His voice cracked at the last syllable. He buried his head in Susan's shoulder and sobbed.

Susan wrapped one arm around him and brought her hand up to stroke his hair. Edmund always had a tendency towards nightmares, even in England. The recent battles hadn't helped the fact. The Narnian healers had even resorted to sleeping drafts in the past to alleviate the severity of the dreams. Poor, poor Edmund.

She held him closer. "Ed, it's okay. It was just a dream. Peter's alive. You're alive. It wasn't your fault—whatever it was."

She felt his arms slip around her and squeeze her tightly. She realized how strong he had gotten. Edmund wasn't her _baby_ brother anymore, was he?

She kissed his forehead before holding his face, forcing him to look at her. "Edmund, listen to me. It was a dream! Got it?"

Edmund slowly nodded. "Just a dream?" he asked, his voice tight. His eyes searched hers for comfort and reassurance that this was indeed reality.

"Just a dream," she repeated. She wiped his tears with her thumb. She searched his drawer and pulled out a small bottle of the sleeping draft he kept there for emergencies—such as this. "Drink this, and then get some sleep, okay? I'll make sure the servants don't wake you until later."

Edmund didn't argue. He swallowed the liquid in one gulp. A few minutes later, Susan could see his eyelids drooping. She pushed him back onto his bed and tucked the covers around him. "Goodnight, Edmund."

"Don't tell Peter," Edmund mumbled through his sleep. "I don't want him to worry."

Susan smiled and kissed his cheek. "I promise."

* * *

_(Susan- 19 years old, Edmund- 17 years old)_

Susan pushed back the healers and walked as fast as she could to Edmund's bed. She stopped abruptly when she saw her brother paler than she had ever seen him. His tunic was bloody and his face had cuts and bruises all over.

"We found him like this in the Telmarine camp," one of the soldiers explained.

Susan covered her mouth to hold back the sob that nearly escaped. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay, Su." She heard Lucy's voice behind her. "I gave him the cordial. The wounds are just healing now."

Susan nodded, her throat too constricted to speak. She grasped Edmund's hand in her own. They were cold and lifeless. She brought her fingers to his wrist where she felt a faint pulse growing stronger as the minutes went on.

"Thank Aslan," she finally choked out.

"I'm going to check on the others found," Lucy said. Susan knew there weren't many others who were captured by the Telmarines, so she was thankful that Lucy was perceptive enough to know she needed some space.

The other healers and soldiers followed the Valiant Queen, leaving Susan alone with Edmund.

The hours that followed were long and excruciating. Susan knew Edmund would live, but she hated the waiting that came after the cordial. The time where she just sat watching him remain unconscious, hoping he'd wake soon…she hated living through it.

"Of course, you can't just stay out of trouble for once, can you, Ed?" she chuckled. She brought a cool cloth to his head, cleaning a gash on his temple.

His eyelids slowly fluttered open. His eyes met hers with confusion. "Wh—where am I?" he rasped.

Susan smiled, relief flooding her chest. "Home."

Edmund shut his eyes again and let out a long breath. "I almost thought I wouldn't make it," he said, his voice stronger this time. The cordial's work was almost done.

"What in Aslan's name were you doing in the Telmarine fortress?" Susan hissed. She felt the anger rise within her, now that she knew he was going to be fine. "You were supposed to be outside the border waiting until—"

"I know," Edmund sighed. "But things changed. I saw an opportunity, and I seized it. I wasn't counting on the underground tunnels full of Telmarine soldiers."

Susan rubbed her eyes wearily. She felt energy drain from her body, and she leaned back against the chair. "Aslan, you're irritating sometimes, Edmund."

Edmund opened his eyes again. They sparkled with mischief as he smirked. "Weren't you crowned _gentle_?" he snorted. "If only the Narnians knew your temper—occasional, though it may be."

"If only Peter learned of what you did," Susan replied evenly.

Edmund's smile disappeared. She saw the color, which had just come back into his cheeks, drain again from his face.

"Don't tell him, Susan," Edmund pleaded. "If he knew I went against orders—"

"I won't," Susan interrupted. She let out an aggravated sigh. "I won't tell him, but you should."

Edmund bit his lip and looked away from her. He seemed to be thinking through things. Susan could see it in his eyes; it was almost as if she could see his brain thinking a thousand things at once. She reached out and covered his hand with hers. It was warmer than it was hours ago. "He'll understand, Edmund," she said. "This isn't your first mistake, and Peter has made _plenty_ of his own to understand."

Edmund still avoided her gaze. Susan knew of Edmund's tendency to think of Peter as this invincible, faultless being since their first year in Narnia. Even though seven years ago, Edmund hated to think of Peter taking their father's place, he now looked up to him as a father figure—a rock, even, that couldn't be shaken by any storm.

Susan knew better. They were all flawed, but they all learned. After all, Aslan didn't crown them because they were perfect, but rather, they were willing.

"I will."

Edmund's voice jolted her out of her thoughts. Susan gave him a small smile. "Good."

The younger boy moaned quietly. "Now can you please leave me to get some decent sleep? Being nearly killed again takes a lot out of you."

Susan chuckled and obliged her brother. She knew he wanted to be alone, but…Edmund resting voluntarily? She would take what she could get.

* * *

_(Susan- 20 years old, Edmund-18 years old)_

Susan was having a wonderful time at Mary's party…until she heard a familiar motor sound from the window. She desperately hoped it wasn't who she thought it was. She groaned quietly when she heard the doorbell ring.

"I wonder who that could be," Mary gasped, pushing herself off the chair. She pushed one of the boys towards Susan. "Keep Mark company while I see who it is, will you, Su?"

Susan rolled her eyes when Mark winked at her. She could tolerate most of the boys Mary liked to invite to her parties, but not Mark. Mark was obnoxious.

"So, I hear you're still unattached," Mark winked, attempting to slip his arm around her.

Thankfully, someone grabbed it and twisted it around his back. Mark cried out in pain. Susan set down her glass and looked at her savior. She wasn't expecting Peter, ready to scold her again for being so irresponsible. Needless to say, she was shocked when she saw her younger brother glaring at Mark.

"Edmund? What are you doing here?" she hissed.

Edmund forced Mark to his feet and shoved him towards the living room. "I'm here to get you," Edmund said, his tone sharp. "You do realize its Lucy's birthday party tonight. Oh, I'm sorry! You weren't around to hear that little announcement."

"No need to be rude," Susan replied. She glanced at the clock. She hardly wanted to be around her family tonight. Especially Lucy. Whenever she was around, the whole Narnia game rose up again, and eventually turned into a discussion on why Susan was a disappointment to the family. "Wait outside until eight. I'll be right there."

"Eight?" Edmund frowned. "That's an hour from now. Lucy's party starts in half an hour."

He grabbed Susan's arm roughly before yanking her closer to him. "I don't care what you say, we're leaving _now_."

Susan rolled her eyes and freed herself from his hold. She caught eyes with Mary and made a gagging gesture after pointing to Edmund. Both girls giggled. Edmund, unfortunately, caught it.

"Susan," he warned.

"Very well," Susan snapped. She grabbed her bag and placed it under her arm. "Let's go then, shall we?"

Edmund looked as if he were about to say something, but changed his mind and only sighed. He led her out to the car.

"You took Peter's car?" Susan gasped. "He's going to—"

"Never find out," Edmund finished. "You have to promise."

"Fine," Susan muttered, crawling into the passenger's side. "As long as you don't tell him where I was."

Edmund snorted and started the engine. "Trust me. I don't want to break his heart anymore than you already have."  
Susan felt a pang of guilt. She knew Edmund was fully aware of the growing rift between her and her older brother. Whatever happened a few years ago couldn't be mended. Peter had tried, but not in the right way. He kept insisting she change…she couldn't. She'd seen the world, and she loved it. It was better than staying depressed over some silly imaginary country and silly lion.

Susan pushed the thought of "Narnia" out of her mind, and sat silently until they arrived at home. Edmund got out of the car and opened the door for Susan.

"How did you even know where to find me?" Susan asked before taking his hand and stepping out of the vehicle.

Edmund smirked. "I was the best spy Narnia had, remember? I know how to get information."

Susan rolled her eyes and marched towards the door. "Don't mention that game."

She glanced behind her momentarily, and saw the look of sadness within Edmund's eyes. If there was anything that made her doubt her own convictions about Narnia…or Aslan…it was Edmund. Every time he gave her that look…she doubted.

Nonetheless, Susan did what she always did. She buried the feeling inside and forgot about it. That was the way to survive, she found. That was the way to stay happy. To forget was bliss to Susan, and she quite liked it that way.

* * *

_(Ages- not exact; Post-Last Battle.)_

The ache within her chest was intolerable. Susan Pevensie had been numb for so long, she had forgotten what love was. When she received the news, she didn't cry. She didn't even feel sorry. She was Susan. Strong, independent, grown-up.

Then, she saw those graves. Five of them. Her family. Her entire family. Gone in one _stupid_ train crash. That's when she began to feel again, and she hated it. It hurt like nothing she had ever felt in her life. It was if someone was tearing her heart to pieces slowly. She wasn't the Susan she had worked so hard to build. Now, she was broken, weak, and a child all over again.

She knelt in front of the graves, uncaring of the murmuring of those around her. She let it all go. She wept as she had never done before.

Her eyes fell on the stone in front of her. "Here lies Edmund Pevensie," it said. "Beloved brother and friend."

She wasn't sure why seeing his name hurt the most. Perhaps it was because they had always been the closest. Of course, he and Peter were inseparable, but the relationship she had with Edmund was different. It was as if they were each other's pillars. They silently supported each other in the darkest of times.

Even when the rest of her family shunned her for her beliefs, Edmund was there. He always said he believed she'd come back to Aslan—or Jesus, as he started to say later. When she refused to attend church with them, he didn't give her those glares as Peter did, or the look of disappointment as Lucy and her parents did. He only nodded, and spoke with her afterwards about the sermon. He assumed she didn't hear him, but Susan did.

In fact, when she started realizing how empty all the parties and friends and sense of self-importance was, she listened with eagerness.

Susan wiped her eyes with a handkerchief. "You'll never know how much you've saved me, Edmund," she whispered to the wind. "When you listened, and gave your advice. I wish I could tell you—" her words caught in her throat. "I just wanted you to know I've changed. I will change, just like you did….in Narnia."

She felt the stares of those around her. She didn't care if she was written off as a lunatic. She lost her family! She lost her brother and closest friend.

She stared again at Edmund's gravestone. She reached out and gently brushed some of the snow off the top. "And make sure," she chuckled through her tears. "Make sure you tell Peter that. Just this once. He always believed you more."

She smiled slightly as she imagined what he would say. "Shut up, Susan. We all love you, even if you were too foolish to see it for the past three years."

Susan slowly rose to her feet. She took a deep breath and scanned the graves once more. Then she turned, once again ignoring the stares of the people at the funeral, and made her way into the neighboring church.

She sat in one of the pews and clasped her hands. "Hello, Aslan…it's been a while…but I'm here now. And, I'm ready to come home…"

* * *

_**A/N: Hope you enjoyed! As always, any sort of review is appreciated. :) Have a lovely day, and thank you for reading!**_


End file.
